Loneliness//Book Review

Hi friends! Welcome back! This week I am talking about a topic that I believe everyone goes through at some point in their life. Sometimes more than once, a lot more than once. Loneliness.

If I am being honest, being lonely sucks. Whether it be loneliness in a relationship, feeling like you have no friends or any other kind of loneliness it sucks. It is like this dark cloud that lingers and makes you feel like nobody even cares about you. Lately I have been struggling with this dark cloud of loneliness. I have struggled for the past year and a bit with friendships. Maintaining them, prioritizing them and making new ones. Sometimes it is just a lot easier to stay home and watch Netflix every evening. But that my friends, is why I am here writing about being lonely.

I don’t know about you but if someone does not text me or reply to me I assume something is wrong. “Why haven’t they answered me? Did I do something wrong? Why did they say no to hanging out? They must hate me. I am so alone, I have no friends. No one wants to hangout with me.” These are all common lines that run through my head. Common LIES. Just because you are going through a season of loneliness does not mean that you are unloved or have no friends. I’m going to repeat that because that is something I need to get into my head and maybe you need to hear it to. Just because you are going through a season of loneliness does NOT mean that you are unloved or have no friends. The truth is that you ARE loved and you do have friends! Life gets busy and it isn’t always easy to meet up with people or hangout all the time. Cut yourself some slack and remind yourself that your true friends will be there regardless of how many times you see them in a week. So if we do have friends, family and maybe a significant other in our lives then why do we get lonely? I believe the reason is that we (or me at least) are looking and hoping for earthly relationships to meet and fulfill our heavenly hole. This is a lesson I have been learning for many years. Let me unpack this a little more.

We are God’s creation built in His image. He designed us thoughtfully knowing what our every need would be before we knew. God could have made us into a creation who automatically loved Him and was close to Him always, never feeling empty in our life. But He didn’t. God wanted us to want Him. So He placed this heavenly hole I call it into our beings that only He could fulfill. We must come to Him, want Him and allow Him to fill us. But if we are surrounded by friends, family and maybe even love and we try to get them to fill our heavenly hole, we won’t get very far. We will feel more empty and frustrated than ever before.

Recently a dear friend of mine gave me a book called “When Women Walk Alone” by Cindi McMenamin. I don’t know if my friend knew how much I needed this book but man oh man was it a perfect fit for my season of life right now! This book focuses on all the different ways women can feel and be alone in life. Cindi talks about being alone in a relationship, friendship, parenthood and so many other topics. It is truly an amazing book filled with real life stories from women who have felt alone in these aspects of their life. These stories brought me hope, encouragement and practical advice for my own life and what I am going through. I hope it does the same for you!

In the chapter “Alone in Your Trials” Cindi talks about finding your glory story. Which maeans turning your challenges and past into something that can glorify God. Cindi suggests that “our trials are designed to make us more like Jesus… If God wants to mold us into women who are utterly dependent on Him, He may allow certain things to happen in our lives that uproot our strongholds and cause us to look to Him for security and dependence – not money, position, status, family, or relationships.”

Now back to my question, why am I lonely? Why do we go through seasons of loneliness? I believe that God allows us to go through these times to bring us closer to Him. Maybe God puts us in this season when He sees that we are getting distracted and loosing sight of Him. He puts us in this season because we need Him and we have forgotten how important our relationship with Him is. When we are lonely and take a step back from all our other relationships we will be able to realize how much we need Him to complete us and calm our hearts. Cindi goes on to say later in the book that “we need to let Jesus become bigger than us and our troubles. We need to recognize He is the One we must lean on to get through.” She also lists 5 things we can do when we find ourselves in this season of life!

1. Realize that God is God.

2. Respect His right to do as He will.

3. Recite often what He’s done in your life.

4. Rest in the fact that He goes before you.

5. Rejoice for this time will pass.

So that is what I am trying to do and that is what I challenge you to do next time you are in a season of loneliness! Take a step back and even thank God for this time in your life which will allow you intimate times with our heavenly creator. If He has put us in this season, He will meet us there, comfort us there, and when the time is right lead us out of that season. So lean in, dig deeper and spend more time with God. He is the ultimate friend in any season of life so take some time and hangout with him!

XOXO

Maggie

P.S.

If you find yourself in a season of loneliness or would just like to talk more about this do not hesitate to contact me! I would love to talk with you, listen and go through this together.