Mary or Martha?

Maggie
Aug 3, 2018
5 min read

Hello fellow dreamers!

It has been quite a while since I last wrote. Lately I have been struggling with what to write or share? What topic to pick?

But this morning it came to me! At 5:15 am. So let's dive in!

Are you Mary or Martha?

This morning I rolled over at 5:15, grabbed my phone (big mistake) and started my journey on social media. When I can't sleep I often go on my phone which never actually helps because its stimulating my brain, bringing me further from sleep. But anyways I was going through Facebook and instagram. Going on people profiles and looking at their posts. Comparing my life to theirs (another big mistake). Wow. Everyone seems to be having so much fun and making memories and truly enjoying life. Why aren't I? (now I know that social media can be SO SO SO deceiving at making one's life look better and more put together but that is a topic for another time. I mean I am 21, newly married, moved out. I have friends, family, my husband, coffee. I have everything that society says should make me happy. Key word SHOULD! So I started self reflecting, as one does at 5 in the morning and started to get this horrible feeling in my stomach, heart and soul. I started replaying moments and memories from the past months where I chose order and control, over freedom and joy. I remembered times when Levi would be joking around and trying to have fun cooking with me and instead of joining in the fun I would scold him for spilling on the floor. Instead of sitting down on the couch and enjoying some quality time I found myself scurrying around our little home dusting and wiping and vacuuming the never ending mess! Instead of running into life with arms wide open I try and plan and organize my way into life. And that is just not the type of life I want.

*sidetone: I think the same can be said about my relationship with Jesus. Just let me do that one more thing before I come spend time with you. Oh hold on God let me just vacuum and dust one more time before we chat. Nope can't enjoy today because my life and house is a mess. Well Jesus loves messy and broken. He is obsessed with the broken and imperfect*

Okay back to my original thought! Just so many thoughts in the early morning! My heart was saddened at these thoughts and memories. If I've already missed out on so much in these past 3 months of marriage imagine what I have missed out on in the past? Imagine how much I will miss out on in the future. It was a heavy thought and feeling to carry.

But just as worry and anxiety were about the flood over me I was reminded of a bible story i've heard many times in the bible. The story of Mary and Martha. Two sisters who Jesus came to visit. One sister rushed around cleaning and cooking while the other took the time to sit at Jesus's feet, talk, learn and listen to our Saviour. I've heard this story a million times and always thought who would I be in this situation? Mary of course! Obviously I would choose to sit and be with Jesus over preparing for him. But this morning I realized that's not the truth. I am Martha. Or at least I have Martha tendencies and have basically lived like her my whole life thus far. I'm a perfectionist, a planner, a type A! Whatever you wanna call it. I've been too busy preparing to enjoy the moments with friends and family in front of me AND missing out at sitting at my saviours feet. But I don't think we are created to be like Martha (no offence home girl, I'm sure you're amazing and obviously we are quite alike!). I think Jesus wants and created us all to be close to him. He wants us near and to choose Him time and time again. But unfortunately we do not live in a perfect world. We live in a broken world filled with sin, pain and the constant rat race to perfection.

SO where am I going with this? Hold tight I am almost there.

We have a choice. Everyday, every minute, every second we have a choice. Who are we wanting to serve? What are we going to give our attention to? The world and its never ending list of demands?

Your house which always seems to be messy and dirty no matter how many times you swiffer?

Your to do list so you can have that feeling of accomplishment when you cross off things only to add more?

Your laundry?

Your kitchen?

The list could go on and on.

Or Jesus.

It really is as simple as that. And as complicated as that.

In every moment we have the power to choose if we are going to serve and choose something that will ultimately lead us to unhappiness and hurt. Or Jesus. The one who calls us up from our mess to sit with Him. The one who doesn't care how big your laundry pile it. The one who genuinely wants to listen to you, love on you and fill up your heart and soul.

Now this can sound like a HUGE task. How am I supposed to give up my want and desire for perfection? That's so hard! But I think we can start small. Each day, even just one moment of the day if we choose to sit at the feet of Jesus it will slowly get easier and feel more natural. We will start to crave and want that more than the cleaning and the lists. But we have to start somewhere. Start small. Start with little decisions. I think even just being conscious of who you are serving in a moment in a step in the right direction!

So if you are a Martha like me don't fret. Don't loose sleep over this (like I did). We serve a merciful and forgiving God who will welcome you with open arms when you run back to Him. And you are not alone. I am here and I'm sure there are other people who can relate to this too. So let's walk this journey together, pray for each other, encourage each other and keep each other accountable when our inner Martha is coming out!

I am going today to buy a book called "Having a Mary heart in a Martha World". I would encourage you to get this book too and read it with me! We could chat and discuss what we are learning and watch each other grow (how exciting?!) I also know of a few online bib studies that I could recommend to you if you want some help guidance in this from the scripture. So don't hesitate to get in tough with me friends! Community is a beautiful thing that God has gifted us with. So let's take advantage of it!

Thanks for listening to my 5 am thoughts friends.

I will leave you with one final thought.

Where is your heart at right now?

Are you Mary or Martha?

(if you would like to read the full story of Mary and Martha it is in Luke 10:38-42)